Friday, 16 September 2011

Don't Mention the (World of) War (craft)!

We are absolutely not fighting in the World of Don't mention the War(Craft!)

This is the World of Warcraft right? I'm a Dwarf, proud warrior of a Titan created race, I'm allied with the Gnomes, Humans, Night-Elves, Draenei... Children of The Holy Light, races who fight for order in Azeroth, live in harmony with it, have never been anything but enemies of the Burning Legion, the Old Gods...

I'm a Dwarf, I know my King died in a valiant attempt to calm the spirits of Azeroth... because no one had suggested a better option.

I'm a hunter, I got a gun, a dog, and a pint of Thunderbrew... this talk of spirits and elementals and aspects, nonsense to me, I know the way the natural world works, hunter and prey, animal harmony with nature, and the finality of a solid slug to the skull.

So explain to me, why we don't mention the war?

The Alliance have lost whole swathes of territory to the Horde, apparently gaining nothing, the lands of the Dwarves, The Loch, and the Highlands, are ravished and destroyed or a front line against the orks who destroy our holding simply to attack our ale stores, the ale laddie!

The world has changed the the powers that be clearly prefered the horde in their changes, us short stops are repeatedly on the losing side.

But this is War right? All's fair... a chance to take out a major player in the enemies command and control structure would be a key turning point in the war... right?

So, tell me again why I am not turning my Extreme Impact Hole Puncher on this cloth wearing Emo Greenskin? I have had to deal with this Thrall character 5 or 6 times, I've been close enough for my Devilsaur to rip out his neck... I could plant my hot-out-of-the-forge gun at his head, and take out the number 1(2?) of my mortal enemies commanders... He's actually doing nothing feather-arms couldn't be doing at this point, seriously, just a trigger squeeze?

Really – it's no bother, I've faced lords of fire, and necromantically resurrected black dragons with this gun, it does the business, I can just pop one between Thralls eyes right here right now, he's to busy moaning about the fact he hasn't had sprogs with his super short term girlfriend yet... Jania isn't even looking we're totally moan free... this is WAR right? Alliance major blow, right here... no... he's earthen ring? We're all respectful of that are we?

I did mention hunter right? Quite at home with nature myself with no religious commitments to it, no real beef about popping this shaman one... specially as he didn't send any word to anyone that they might not need to turn themselves into stone as he 'got this one'  

We've been screwed over left right an centre, we don't seem to be complaining or doing anything about it... we're the Alliance, here we are, please do foul things to us because the powers that be don't like us.

Y'know what, these quest givers keep sending me back to you big'en... everyone else has forgotten we're at war right? I reckon you look like an ork to me...

klick-clack BAM!

It would literally be that easy for the Alliance to finally get a much needed foothold in this 'war' just my hunter, gun, to the temple, no more Ork hero... but we mustn’t mention the war! I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it!

Our world builders prefer the other side, we're on our own so...

Swear Allegiance

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